Thursday, June 21, 2012

Planning a wedding? Nah, I'm just showing up

 The best way to plan a wedding is by not really planning at all.

I am getting married to ‘the Month’ in nine (9!) days and I have been regaled for the past 14 months for being the ‘calmest bride ever’.  I wouldn’t say that I am by nature all that calm, so that is quite the feat in and of itself.

The month (in white) and me
In reality, I’ve focused on planning when decisions were right in front of me: cobalt blue or royal blue? (Are they really different?) Cupcakes or cake? (Both, actually).  Here or there? (We live in Boston; my family doesn’t. Simple enough).  Otherwise I relinquished control and focused on other things I could actually do something about; mainly planning as many getaways as possible (three countries in five months should do).  I read bride magazines lightly and watched terrible wedding-related TV shows (only America could have created the train wreck that is “Bridezillas”).    

Obviously a lot of time and effort go into planning a wedding, no matter how simple.  We will have 80 people eating dinner in a family friend’s private residence in a relatively secluded backwater after a ceremony involving one borrowed pastor, two readings, four attendants, and hopefully no rain.  I have made lists of lists of lists every week since October and only had to wake up the Month a few times to tell her of my newest wedding-related panic in the middle of the night.  But instead of obsessing over every little thing – which would have been very easy for me – I have tried to enjoy every moment.  Negotiating the murky waters of one family is difficult; add another very different family and you might as well try swimming upstream blind in the Amazon.  

In spite of it all, I have loved browsing jewelry and shoes with friends and colleagues, tasting all the cake options with my Mom, and struggling through stupid craft projects in my pajamas on the floor with my cousin/MOH.  The month and I celebrated every 30th of the month as our ‘old’ anniversary and our soon to be ‘new’ anniversary.  I hosted tea parties and bought too much new clothes for the honeymoon.  I actually enjoyed being engaged.  

And now we are almost there.  I cannot wait for the day but even more so, all the days to follow.   

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